DVD Ghost
by coolman3
Summary: After Shake badily wires up a DVD player at a Carl's place, he suddenly is able to talk to the dead. Also Meatwad sees a ghost in the bathroom. Please R


Aqua Teen Hunger Force

DVD Ghost

(Cold opening. Cut to Carl's house as Shake jumps out and hobbles off.)

Carl: That's my DVD player!

(Opening credits. Cut to Shake in the lounge full of DVDs all over the place as Frylock hovers in.)

Shake: Castaway, Turner & Hooch, Philadelphia………..the Tom Hanks threesome!

Frylock: Shake? What the Hell?

Shake: I suppose you haven't met my little friend, the DVD player.

Frylock: Since when did you get a DVD player?

Shake: Since when did you start caring!

Frylock: What's with all these DVDs!

Shake: Why watch TV when you've got a DVD player………….in fact, if I have a DVD player, I won't need a TV!

(Shake pushes the TV off as it explodes.)

Shake: Nah, time to watch my favorite movie of all time………..The Matrix Revolutions.

(Shake puts a disc in and nothing appears.)

Shake: C'mon Keanu Reeves!

Frylock: You NEEDED a TV to WATCH the DVD!

Shake: What! Why didn't you tell me!

Frylock: Well, actually….

Shake: I'm not Einstein, Frylock.

Frylock: Well, actually I thought you would've known….

Shake: I'm not Stephen Hawking either, you know that wheelchair guy!

Frylock: Yeah, I know.

Shake: I consider myself smarter then both of those guys combined.

Frylock: Well, Stephen Hawking is very smart.

Shake: And I'm smarter then him Frylock, I'm just forgetful sometimes.

Frylock: Well, I just hope you pay the bills.

Shake: Pay the bills……….well, I think this month, that……

(Meatwad rolls in.)

Shake: Meatwad should have that responsibility.

Meatwad: What responsibility! I just came in here because that ghost in the bathroom is crazy.

Shake: You know who was crazy, Dan Rather.

Meatwad: The newsman.

Shake: Yes, and to prove your worth……….pay the bills.

Meatwad: It's your month to pay the bills this month Shake.

Shake: Well, I wasted all the money on these DVDs.

Meatwad: Wait…………when did you get a DVD player?

Shake: Since when did you become smart!

Meatwad: Listen, homeboy, I am smart, I have one of those diplomas from that Trophy place down the street.

Shake: Wait, there's a Trophy place down the street? Why anyone didn't tell me! I wanted a bowling trophy, with jewels encrusted on it………..and rocket boosters!

Meatwad: And an Action Frank doll.

(Pause.)

Frylock: No-one's buying a trophy.

Shake: I'm going to get you Frylock; you ruined my chance to have a trophy with jewel encrusted bowling trophy with rocket boosters…..

Meatwad: And an Action Frank Doll.

(Pause.)

Shake: Is anyone even talking to you!

Meatwad: Well….

Shake: You're being rejected, Meatwad.

Meatwad: Well, I wanna get an Action Frank Season 1 DVD.

Shake: It's my DVD player, my DVDs………..

Frylock: You are going to find a way to pay the bills….

Shake: You can't get me to do nothing, Frylock!

Meatwad: Let's get him!

Shake: I thought I rejected you already.

Meatwad: Will…..

Shake: No-one cares, do you care Frylock….

Frylock: Actually…

Shake: See, no-one cares!

Meatwad: Well…..

Shake: I am going to watch my DVDs…………at Carl's house.

Meatwad: Carl's on vacation.

Shake: No-one cares, Meatwad!

(Shake smashes through Carl's door with the DVD player as he grabs the extension cord.)

Shake: Okay, where's Carl's plugging thing?

(Shake grabs a baseball bat and smashes Carl's table.)

Shake: This stupid table is distracting me!

(Frylock hovers in with instructions.)

Frylock: I've got the instructions.

Shake: I don't need any instructions, Frylock!

Frylock: I thought you did need instructions…….

Shake: Frylock, what part of the word "don't" don't you understand?

Frylock: Yeah, well…………….I don't care.

(Frylock hovers out as Shake shuffles to the porch.)

Shake: YEAH! YOU GO! SEE IF I CARE! I CAN DO IT ALL ON MY OWN!

(Cut to Frylock and Meatwad in the pool.)

Frylock: Stupid jerk Shake……..

Meatwad: That's what happens when you get addicted to materialistic things……….now about the ghost in the bathroom.

(Blood starts draining out to the pool as Meatwad jumps out as Frylock hovers out.)

Meatwad: THE GHOST! IT STRIKES AGAIN!

(Meatwad rolls off, screaming.)

Frylock: Aw…….hell.

(Cut inside as Shake has sticky-taped all the cords together.)

Shake: Now time to watch my all time favorite classic, Se7en.

(Shake pops the DVD as a ghost appears.)

Shake: Hello, what's wrong with this DVD?

Ghost: I am the ghost!

Shake: Ghost, what ghost?

Ghost: Well, actually………my name's Tim.

Shake: Tim, whatever….

Tim: I demand you give me cream!

Shake: I don't care about your friggin' cream! I want to watch my damn movie!

Tim: Well actually, this is the movie. This is the part where you die!

(A machete pops through the television as Shake stares.)

Shake: Wow, so scary!

Tim: Well, it could go further but……….what am I doing in the DVD?

Shake: That's what I like to know, jerkface!

Tim: Well, actually you should know……..I'm actually, the candyman.

Shake: The candyman!

Tim: Listen, you ain't taking me seriously, bitch!

(Carl's living room starts engulfing in flames as Frylock knocks on the front door.)

Frylock: Shake! Shake!

Shake: I should go to him!

Tim: Well, actually………..you can't.

Shake: And why not!

Tim: Because I just locked it………….with my mind.

Shake: With your mind?

Tim: I'm a ghost, see!

(Frylock turns the knobs on Carl's door as he has no luck, Meatwad rolls into view.)

Frylock: SHAKE! OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!

Meatwad: Tim escaped the bathroom.

Frylock: Who's Tim!

Meatwad: The damn ghost that's been living in our bathroom for months!

Frylock: A ghost!

Meatwad: Said something about being pissed that his wife left him, lost all his money in the rat races, all relatives died, got evicted out of his apartment and all his things got repossessed and so he shot himself in the head, said then all the pain went away.

Frylock: What a depressed guy….

Meatwad: I'm depressed too………….the pain, I want the unbearable pain away.

Frylock: What pain?

Meatwad: Oh, Frylock, Tim convinced me that there's hidden pain in all of us.

Frylock: Hidden pain?

Meatwad: Inside our body, it's like one of those stupid hokey spiritual things.

Frylock: Spiritual.

Meatwad: I think Tim said he was Jewish or Buddhist or something like that.

Frylock: How could you communicate with ghosts?

Meatwad: I told you, I met him in the shower, the shower full of damn blood.

Frylock: The shower was full of blood?

Meatwad: Yes, what have I been saying for almost 10 months straight?

Frylock: Carl's house in flames, the blood, this might be linked to something supernatural.

Meatwad: It started happening when Shake stole that damn DVD player from Carl.

Frylock: So he stole it.

(Cut to the backyard with a sign reading: "DVDs For Carl's Guns".)

Frylock: I didn't know he started up this business.

Meatwad: According to Master "know everything", this ain't no business………it's a "charity".

Frylock: Oh that's it, SHAKE! I'M GOING IN THERE!

(Frylock hovers over to Carl's front door and blasts it open as he hovers inside.)

Frylock: OH MY GOD!

Shake: Oh my God this, oh my God that! Oh my God to everything, isn't it Frylock?

Tim: Hey fries, how's it hanging?

(Meatwad rolls inside.)

Meatwad: That's it, that's Tim right there.

Tim: Hi Meatwad, could you blow this stupid milkshake's head off.

Shake: I have you know, I don't have no head I have a face!

Tim: Yeah, whatever……….no-one cares big guy.

Carl:(V.O): HELLLLP ME! HELLLP ME!

Frylock: That sounded almost like Carl.

Tim: That couldn't possibly Carl, because I tied him to a chair in his tanning booth ten months ago.

Meatwad: I thought Carl went on vacation in the Bahamas.

Tim: Well, I want to live here. Good pad, man.

Frylock: You shall release Carl now!

Tim: I'm so scared, I'm so scared fry-box………….what's that bling on the back of you?

Frylock: Who wants to know?

Tim: Like me……………I'm a ghost.

Shake: Don't argue with him Frylock, my DVD of Se7en is pirated and this guy is the police.

Tim: I'm a ghost.

Frylock: This ghost is…..

Tim: My name is Tim.

Frylock: Yeah, Tim, whatever……..Tim is using your DVD player so he can communicate with us.

Tim: Yeah, you corded it wrong or something, and my buddies told me you could communicate with us "others".

Meatwad: Now I've heard everything!

Frylock: Shake, thanks to your half-assed handyman work, you can communicate with the dead.

Shake: I do not want to talk to no dead person!

Tim: I've got an ex-girlfriend who wants to talk to you.

Shake: Oh really, is she hot?

Tim: Well, his got an eyebrow growing on her belly button.

Shake: Sick okay, what's the point of talking to the damned dead if I can't have sex with the dead chicks if they're growing eyebrows on their belly buttons.

Meatwad: Having sex with ghosts?

Shake: I saw it on a movie called "Ghost Sex. Ed", it is a documentary.

Meatwad: Yeah……….well that's sick.

Shake: You want to know what's sick, ghosts vomiting. I bet Tim vomits a lot because ghosts still have body organs inside, so they vomit it out because they don't need it anymore because they're ghosts.

Tim: Well, actually ghosts can't vomit.

Shake: Well, I'm sick of looking at you, you dumb ghost!

Tim: Do not mess with me!

Shake: Who's messing!

Meatwad: Why are you talking about Debra Messing for?

Shake: She's your mother; now anyway Tim………I'm sick of looking at your hollow body go to Hell already!

Meatwad: Debra Messing is my Mom?

Tim: Wanna go, milkshake?

Frylock: Shake, stop it right now!

Shake: I don't want to talk to no ghosts; it's like those shows Ghost Whisperer and Tru Calling oh, and Medium.

Frylock: Not everyone could talk deceased people Shake.

Shake: It's not "deceased" Frylock, its "dead".

Frylock: "Deceased" just sounds more inoffensive…

Shake: Wow! Now dead people get pissed off too, how could they, Frylock? I'm an expert on this….

Frylock: Oh, and how?

Shake: I have had my fair share of deaths Frylock.

Meatwad: Screw this I'm going outside and drink some toothpaste.

Shake: You want to know what toothpaste is made of, dead people.

Frylock: No it's not….

Shake: No it's not, our toothpaste is!

Meatwad: That's sick!

Tim: Actually, toothpaste is made out of liquid grass.

Meatwad: Liquid grass, your both stupid!

(Meatwad rolls outside. Cut inside Frylock's room as Meatwad rolls in with a towel wrapped around his head as he pulls out a book from Frylock's book shelf as it turns over revealing a bath, shower and a bag full of old clothes as Meatwad rolls into the bath as he turns it on as blood gushes out.)

Meatwad: ARRRGGH!

(Cut inside Carl's room, as the tanning booth (from Revenge of the Mooninites) is in view with Carl's arm sticking out.)

Carl:(V.O): HELP ME!

(The tanning booth opens as Carl rolls out the window. Cut back in the living room.)

Shake: Did you hear something!

(Frylock turns around seeing Carl, lying on the grass on fire, dead as his skin is dark red as the chair he was tied to is smashed to bits.)

Tim: Too bad your little friend died.

Frylock: What do you want!

Tim: A life!

Frylock: A life…..

Shake: Yeah, you want a life huh?

Tim: Yes.

Shake: Don't be a ghost!

Meatwad:(V.O) Hey Tim worked at NASA for awhile……..so technically his a "space ghost".

Shake: Space Ghost is here!

Meatwad:(V.O): Uh, no.

Shake: Shut up Meatwad, I want to be interviewed by him.

Meatwad:(V.O): We were on his show once.

Frylock: That wasn't us.

Meatwad:(V.O) Who were they then?

Tim: Hey, what about me huh?

Shake: What about you?

Tim: Please, revive me.

Shake: What do I look like, a witchdoctor to you!

(The flames engulfing Carl's house starts spreading as Shake shuffles outside.)

Shake: Frylock distract him while I get the hose!

Tim: The nose?

(Frylock tries blasting the TV as it creates a force field and hits Frylock down as Shake shuffles back in with a hose.)

Shake: Okay Frylock, turn it on.

Frylock:(confused): Turn what on?

Shake: Okay Frylock, be like that.

(Shake shuffles over as he turns it on as blood starts gushing out the hose all over the place.)

Frylock: Arrgh! Nasty, blood!

(Shake shuffles back in holding the hose as the blood starts taking out the fire.)

Tim: Wow………..the fire's going now.

Shake: Yeah, I know………no thanks to you.

Tim: I want you to die, because one person dead means a chance for a second life for me.

Frylock: Is this what it's all about?

Tim: That and my wife………my wife is going out with my divorced suicidal father who kicked Mom out of the house into the gutters.

(The hose begins stopping as Meatwad rolls out the hose, almost completely covered in blood.)

Meatwad: First I'm having a shower next thing I know………I'm here.

Shake: Let's sacrifice Meatwad, we all knew their wasn't any happy ending there.

Meatwad: Oh, look who's talking. I say kill him Tim.

Frylock: Kill Shake.

Meatwad: 2 against 1 boy.

Shake: Frylock, what happened to very living thing should not die.

Frylock: When did I say that?

Shake: You might have said it while I was having that antacid trip back in the '70s or something.

Tim: That's it, here comes my second machete.

(The machete goes through the TV and impales Shake as lots and lots of blood starts gushing out of Shake.)

Shake: You hit a vein, moron!

Frylock: Looks like he hit two veins.

Shake: Two veins, thanks a lot Tim.

Tim: My pleasure….

(Shake falls down.)

Shake: Oh man……….I'm really dying.

(The amount of blood stops as Shake just lies there, and coughs out a bit of blood.)

Meatwad: Whoa, man……….you totally killed him.

Tim: I should be back to normal in no-time.

(Pause.)

Tim: Any time now.

(Pause.)

Tim: Well that was a waste of time, I'm out.

(Tim disappears as a blank screen pops up as the DVD player is opened as Meatwad takes out the disc and puts it back in the case.)

Meatwad: Shake's gone now, I can't believe it! Could you believe it?

Frylock: Yeah, I know.

(Cut to Shake and Carl's dead bodies lying in two holes in the Aqua Teens' backyard.)

Frylock: Shake and Carl were not really friends but…..

Meatwad: Let's just bury them, okay…..

Frylock: Okay, dinner has to be ready soon anyway.

(Meatwad throws lots of dirt covering up the two holes as Frylock hovers off and Meatwad slides off. Cut to Meatwad's room full of arcades, a spa, a golden toilet and shower and a widescreen TV, Shake's (or should I say Carl's) DVD player and DVDs as Frylock hovers in.)

Frylock: Oh my God! Meatwad!

Meatwad: Yeah, I know………I look like I should be on that show Cribs.

Frylock: What are you doing with the DVD player?

Meatwad: Don't you know Frylock, I convinced Tim to kill himself and knowing Shake, he would've overreacted about something so he'll have to push the TV off and go wire up the DVD player in Carl's house, knowing he'll do a crappy job I knew that Tim was going to appear, so I got Tim to act the way he did and killed Shake so I'll get his DVD player and twelve credit cards his never used in his life because you forced him to hide them from me, and I recorded the whole thing with my webcam on my website " And the blood?

Meatwad: That was real from the Red Cross; I was able to get some leftover blood that was ridden with disease on it.

Frylock: Oh……….my…………..God……….

Meatwad: Learn your lesson Frylock, when Meatwad wants something he gets it……..bitch!

(Pause.)

Meatwad: You dig?

Frylock: Well, actually…

(Meatwad starts breathing fire as his eyes turn red.)

Meatwad:(Satanic voice): YOU DIG!

(Frylock hovers out in terror. End credits.)

Voices

Dana Snyder Carey Means Dave Willis C. Martin Croker

Dana Snyder as Master Shake

Carey Means as Frylock

Dave Willis as Meatwad and Carl

C. Martin Croker as Tim the Ghost and Meatwad's Satanic Voice


End file.
